I've been suffering from a headache for going on three days now. Luckily, I know that pregnancy presents these fun little symptoms, so I'm not too worried.
It seems to be a sinus headache. Most of the time, I have an aching behind my eyebrows (both sides). I've tried consuming the usual suspects - caffeine, water, food, and it just persists. I think it must be because all passageways get swollen (and thus are smaller and more easily clogged) with extra blood and hormonal influence. Awesome.
On the first day of the headache (Monday), I sniffed my nose at one point, maybe out of habit, and my entire face suddenly ached. All sinus passageways hurt at once, and I just sat there and rubbed my face until the pain subsided after a couple of minutes. Yuck. Luckily, that hasn't happened again since. Now, I just worry about coughs and sneezes - those cause more pressure and are extremely painful. I also try to avoid bending over as much as possible, because that immediately increases pressure, too.
Tonight's assignment is a hot bath, and a warm compress for my sinuses. Maybe a facial massage, thanks to YouTube instructional videos. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, January 23
Wednesday, January 2
and right there for a minute I knew you so well
Today was such a good day.
I didn't do anything particularly special - I worked from home, as I've been doing for the past week or so, and as I'll continue to do, while I'm on bed rest. I won't bother to fill in all the blanks between my last post and this, because honestly, there are too many blanks and nowhere near enough words to fill them.
Today was good, because my little baby kicked almost all day. I told Jesse that nothing could make me happier than that little kick-kick-kick. He smiled sweetly at me and then told me that he once feared that I'd be mad about the constant kicking that pregnancy can offer. To his credit, I do get annoyed at repetitive sounds, motions, etc. After all, he only has to tap-tap-tap his fingers for a bar or two of a song before I'm quietly (or not-so-quietly) asking him to stop.
But a baby kicking is different. It's sweet, it's gentle (most of the time), and it's comforting and reassuring. I told Jesse that I already know that I'm going to miss these kicks when our baby boy joins the big open world. He replied that I'd still be getting kicked. True, but those kicks will be accompanied by cries and poop and stuffy noses.
These kicks, now, are sweet and priceless.
I didn't do anything particularly special - I worked from home, as I've been doing for the past week or so, and as I'll continue to do, while I'm on bed rest. I won't bother to fill in all the blanks between my last post and this, because honestly, there are too many blanks and nowhere near enough words to fill them.
Today was good, because my little baby kicked almost all day. I told Jesse that nothing could make me happier than that little kick-kick-kick. He smiled sweetly at me and then told me that he once feared that I'd be mad about the constant kicking that pregnancy can offer. To his credit, I do get annoyed at repetitive sounds, motions, etc. After all, he only has to tap-tap-tap his fingers for a bar or two of a song before I'm quietly (or not-so-quietly) asking him to stop.
But a baby kicking is different. It's sweet, it's gentle (most of the time), and it's comforting and reassuring. I told Jesse that I already know that I'm going to miss these kicks when our baby boy joins the big open world. He replied that I'd still be getting kicked. True, but those kicks will be accompanied by cries and poop and stuffy noses.
These kicks, now, are sweet and priceless.
Monday, October 15
Embrace what you find
18 weeks, 6 days.
We've postponed our regular check-up appointment. It was supposed to be tomorrow, but I've pushed it out a week, so that it will take place after our big anatomy scan ultrasound on Thursday. That way, my OB can tell us whatever they learn from our ultrasound in person, rather than on the phone.
So, we wait.
And I'm in pain. I've been in a mild amount of pain since about 14 weeks, but I didn't think much of it. I think it's because, in the past (pre-pregnancy), when I've felt pain, it would just eventually go away. In this case, unfortunately, it just got worse. And maybe worse than that - now, I can't take my painkiller of choice (Ibuprofen).
Pain is what brought me to the OB's office this past Friday. Unfortunately, they didn't diagnose me with anything other than 'normal' pregnancy pain. From what I read online, though, it's not terribly normal to live with this pain. So, after we determine that all is well from the ultrasound (fingers crossed!), I'll call a physical therapist and see if I can get a good pain management routine going.
I'm fixated on my weight, too. Specifically, the fact that I haven't gained any yet. Jesse and I can both tell that I'm "showing," but I don't think anyone else would notice yet (but honestly, would they even say anything? I suspect family would, but they haven't). My body is just rearranging the weight it already carries, I guess. I think I'm fixated because I expected to do nothing but gain weight for 9 months straight, so this has been a 19 week reprieve that I hadn't bothered to hope for.
The baby's heart is thump-thump-thumping away, based on my Friday appointment. It seemed to be sitting in one place, this time, because the OB didn't have to move the Doppler around at all. That's in stark contrast to my last appointment at 15 weeks, where the OB said we have a 'mover and a shaker" who wouldn't stay put for anything. The 15 week appointment was in the morning (maybe 9:30am?) and Friday's appointment was at 3:15pm, so maybe we'll find that we have an afternoon napper on our hands. Jesse will like that.
We've postponed our regular check-up appointment. It was supposed to be tomorrow, but I've pushed it out a week, so that it will take place after our big anatomy scan ultrasound on Thursday. That way, my OB can tell us whatever they learn from our ultrasound in person, rather than on the phone.
So, we wait.
And I'm in pain. I've been in a mild amount of pain since about 14 weeks, but I didn't think much of it. I think it's because, in the past (pre-pregnancy), when I've felt pain, it would just eventually go away. In this case, unfortunately, it just got worse. And maybe worse than that - now, I can't take my painkiller of choice (Ibuprofen).
Pain is what brought me to the OB's office this past Friday. Unfortunately, they didn't diagnose me with anything other than 'normal' pregnancy pain. From what I read online, though, it's not terribly normal to live with this pain. So, after we determine that all is well from the ultrasound (fingers crossed!), I'll call a physical therapist and see if I can get a good pain management routine going.
I'm fixated on my weight, too. Specifically, the fact that I haven't gained any yet. Jesse and I can both tell that I'm "showing," but I don't think anyone else would notice yet (but honestly, would they even say anything? I suspect family would, but they haven't). My body is just rearranging the weight it already carries, I guess. I think I'm fixated because I expected to do nothing but gain weight for 9 months straight, so this has been a 19 week reprieve that I hadn't bothered to hope for.
The baby's heart is thump-thump-thumping away, based on my Friday appointment. It seemed to be sitting in one place, this time, because the OB didn't have to move the Doppler around at all. That's in stark contrast to my last appointment at 15 weeks, where the OB said we have a 'mover and a shaker" who wouldn't stay put for anything. The 15 week appointment was in the morning (maybe 9:30am?) and Friday's appointment was at 3:15pm, so maybe we'll find that we have an afternoon napper on our hands. Jesse will like that.
Tuesday, October 9
Dreams with the flying pigs
I'm 18 weeks pregnant today.
This whole process is filled with out-of-body experiences, such as having a very negative reaction to foods I'd normally like, nausea, random pains that I can't quite describe, etc. That said, it's also filled with excitement and happiness about something that still feels very conceptual. I'm looking forward to the next few months, and everything feeling more 'real.'
I also dream. All. The. Time. Dreams about spaceships, pools of water, real people, strangers, sleeping, being awake, losing my job, etc. But the spaceships (term used loosely - not sure what to call these aircraft) were the most interesting, because I had that dream multiple times over a couple of weeks. Good stuff.
I've been very introspective lately, and have realized that Past Me assumed that Future Me would have lots to say when she was pregnant. Unfortunately, that's just not the case. I feel like I've been a lot quieter, more pensive, less talkative. I'll talk with my husband, mom or friends about symptoms and baby products, but I don't really feel the need to express my feelings so much.
And speaking of Past Me, I recently remembered that I once thought that maybe I'd blog more when I was pregnant, and that I'd always use Tori Amos lyrics as my blog post titles. It seemed like a good idea at the time. This is my first attempt.
Feeling a bit scattered, but I thought I'd at least get those thoughts down, as a milestone in my journey.
Here are some basics about the pregnancy and my symptoms:
- Apparently, your average fetus is about the length of a bell pepper at 18 weeks (5.5 inches, crown-to-rump)
- Our next OB appointment is on October 16th.
- Our mid-term ultrasound appointment is on October 18th.
- We should find out the baby's gender on the 18th, as well as whether the baby's major organs are developing as expected. Fingers crossed!
- I'm craving a lot of chocolate milk these days. And apples. I must need calcium and fiber.
- I'm trying to drink a lot of water, and give up caffeine (again). I get terrible headaches, about a day after I drink caffeine - these are very dramatic withdrawals, I imagine.
Lastly, I'm trying to get out and do things, while I've only got myself to account for. Jesse and I went to see Looper a week ago (opening weekend). We also drove to Reno to see the hot air balloon race, and strolled around Filoli with some good friends. Most recently, Jesse and I drove to Bodie, CA to check out that awesome ghost town. Even though I'm totally exhausted, and I want to bail on pretty much everything I plan on doing with my weekends, I realize that I have a very limited time to get some of these things done, before my life is much more complicated. Focus. Breathe. Enjoy.
This whole process is filled with out-of-body experiences, such as having a very negative reaction to foods I'd normally like, nausea, random pains that I can't quite describe, etc. That said, it's also filled with excitement and happiness about something that still feels very conceptual. I'm looking forward to the next few months, and everything feeling more 'real.'
I also dream. All. The. Time. Dreams about spaceships, pools of water, real people, strangers, sleeping, being awake, losing my job, etc. But the spaceships (term used loosely - not sure what to call these aircraft) were the most interesting, because I had that dream multiple times over a couple of weeks. Good stuff.
I've been very introspective lately, and have realized that Past Me assumed that Future Me would have lots to say when she was pregnant. Unfortunately, that's just not the case. I feel like I've been a lot quieter, more pensive, less talkative. I'll talk with my husband, mom or friends about symptoms and baby products, but I don't really feel the need to express my feelings so much.
And speaking of Past Me, I recently remembered that I once thought that maybe I'd blog more when I was pregnant, and that I'd always use Tori Amos lyrics as my blog post titles. It seemed like a good idea at the time. This is my first attempt.
Feeling a bit scattered, but I thought I'd at least get those thoughts down, as a milestone in my journey.
Here are some basics about the pregnancy and my symptoms:
- Apparently, your average fetus is about the length of a bell pepper at 18 weeks (5.5 inches, crown-to-rump)
- Our next OB appointment is on October 16th.
- Our mid-term ultrasound appointment is on October 18th.
- We should find out the baby's gender on the 18th, as well as whether the baby's major organs are developing as expected. Fingers crossed!
- I'm craving a lot of chocolate milk these days. And apples. I must need calcium and fiber.
- I'm trying to drink a lot of water, and give up caffeine (again). I get terrible headaches, about a day after I drink caffeine - these are very dramatic withdrawals, I imagine.
Lastly, I'm trying to get out and do things, while I've only got myself to account for. Jesse and I went to see Looper a week ago (opening weekend). We also drove to Reno to see the hot air balloon race, and strolled around Filoli with some good friends. Most recently, Jesse and I drove to Bodie, CA to check out that awesome ghost town. Even though I'm totally exhausted, and I want to bail on pretty much everything I plan on doing with my weekends, I realize that I have a very limited time to get some of these things done, before my life is much more complicated. Focus. Breathe. Enjoy.
Sunday, April 1
Succulent inspiration
I've been into gardening for the past year or two...has it really been two years? Something like that.
Anyway, my garden consists entirely of potted plants. I refuse to add value to my landlady's property, and I fully intend to take everything with me when I leave. My plants do really well - I primarily grow succulents, because they're awesome looking, and easy to maintain. My relative success with succulents has helped to strip the black right off of my green thumb. They grow so fast that I have to pot and re-pot them to keep them looking nice.
So, today, I walked through Orchard Supply, acting like I knew what I was doing.. I found some fertilizer (fish emulsion), some rocks (for drainage), some pumice (also for drainage), some planter pots, and bought a tiny succulent in a 4oz. plastic cup. (My mom always 'rescues' the saddest looking plants, and I felt my first twinge of understanding as I searched through all the little plants for sale.)
When my re-potting adventure is all done, I'll take some pictures. For now, I've been looking at some succulents online, and I wanted to start a photo inspiration board of pretty plants and ideas that I should keep in mind...
This pretty "paint box" might have to be my next planting task. I need more repeat plants to make this work.
This makes me think I need to keep my eyes peeled for some hot red succulents. Right now, I have lots of icy blue-green, pale pink, eggplant purple.. no red. Yet.
Practically everything about this woman's succulent garden is spectacular. Someday...
When I have a real yard, I'd like to set up some hanging plants, like a donkey tail:
And string of pearls:
Note to self: plant succulents in rows:
And in unusual planters:
In short, keep working on the garden. Hopefully, the plants will continue to outgrow their pots, so that I always have an excuse to reinvent and redesign.
Anyway, my garden consists entirely of potted plants. I refuse to add value to my landlady's property, and I fully intend to take everything with me when I leave. My plants do really well - I primarily grow succulents, because they're awesome looking, and easy to maintain. My relative success with succulents has helped to strip the black right off of my green thumb. They grow so fast that I have to pot and re-pot them to keep them looking nice.
So, today, I walked through Orchard Supply, acting like I knew what I was doing.. I found some fertilizer (fish emulsion), some rocks (for drainage), some pumice (also for drainage), some planter pots, and bought a tiny succulent in a 4oz. plastic cup. (My mom always 'rescues' the saddest looking plants, and I felt my first twinge of understanding as I searched through all the little plants for sale.)
When my re-potting adventure is all done, I'll take some pictures. For now, I've been looking at some succulents online, and I wanted to start a photo inspiration board of pretty plants and ideas that I should keep in mind...
This pretty "paint box" might have to be my next planting task. I need more repeat plants to make this work.
This makes me think I need to keep my eyes peeled for some hot red succulents. Right now, I have lots of icy blue-green, pale pink, eggplant purple.. no red. Yet.
Practically everything about this woman's succulent garden is spectacular. Someday...
When I have a real yard, I'd like to set up some hanging plants, like a donkey tail:
And string of pearls:
Note to self: plant succulents in rows:
And in unusual planters:
In short, keep working on the garden. Hopefully, the plants will continue to outgrow their pots, so that I always have an excuse to reinvent and redesign.
Friday, March 30
Scleral Buckle
I've learned that I apparently have two genetic abnormalities in my eyes. I'll try to describe them as I understand them...
1. progressive high myopia
This means that not only am I severely myopic (nearsighted), but after I stopped growing at around age 20, my eyes kept growing (elongating). The longer your eye is, the more nearsighted you are. Light coming through your lens at the front of your eye focuses too early and doesn't reach the back of your eye, so your vision is unfocused. The elongation also begins to weaken your retina, as it stretches and stretches with your eye. If you imagine a red rubber ball from your school days, the retina is like the inner layer of rubber (the white part of the ball).
2. lattice degeneration
As the retina stretches, it weakens along the shorter diameter walls of the eye. The weakened sections look like lattice work, thus the name.
Yesterday, my retinal specialist explained that the combination of these two issues will mean that while I'm young(-ish), I will need to update the prescription for my contacts and glasses over time - duh. More importantly, I will be at extremely high risk for macular degeneration when I'm older (60+ years old or even 50+). Macular degeneration causes blindness over time.
In an effort to keep my eyes from elongating, he has now told me that I'm a candidate for the scleral buckling procedure (surgery). He'd start with one eye, and let me recover, and then do the other eye at some point in the future.
Although I didn't know the name at the time, he had mentioned the surgery to me at least once before. However, the context at that time was to say that in the future, children (notably, probably my children) would not be allowed to have their myopia advance so drastically as mine did when I was a kid. They could put a 'sling' on the back of the eye to keep it from stretching. That's the buckle.
So, now I am a candidate myself. My vision will continue to deteriorate with or without the buckle(s). They would just give me the opportunity to slow it down drastically, and keep me on a higher road to maintain as much vision as possible, into my old age.
The side effects that I know of are:
1. pain and pressure in the eye (not sure for how long)
2. oozing and bleeding around the eye
3. bruising of the muscles around the eye, that will cause double vision for 1-3 months
- I'll need to do exercises to get the slow eye to move faster, and prevent scarring.
Apparently, my doctor is the specialist who proved through a study that this procedure is effective, and now he's one of the only (if not *the* only) one in the country who will perform the surgery. Here's one of his papers.
Not sure what I'll do yet, but thought I'd get that written down for the historical record, as I remember it.
1. progressive high myopia
This means that not only am I severely myopic (nearsighted), but after I stopped growing at around age 20, my eyes kept growing (elongating). The longer your eye is, the more nearsighted you are. Light coming through your lens at the front of your eye focuses too early and doesn't reach the back of your eye, so your vision is unfocused. The elongation also begins to weaken your retina, as it stretches and stretches with your eye. If you imagine a red rubber ball from your school days, the retina is like the inner layer of rubber (the white part of the ball).
2. lattice degeneration
As the retina stretches, it weakens along the shorter diameter walls of the eye. The weakened sections look like lattice work, thus the name.
Yesterday, my retinal specialist explained that the combination of these two issues will mean that while I'm young(-ish), I will need to update the prescription for my contacts and glasses over time - duh. More importantly, I will be at extremely high risk for macular degeneration when I'm older (60+ years old or even 50+). Macular degeneration causes blindness over time.
In an effort to keep my eyes from elongating, he has now told me that I'm a candidate for the scleral buckling procedure (surgery). He'd start with one eye, and let me recover, and then do the other eye at some point in the future.
Although I didn't know the name at the time, he had mentioned the surgery to me at least once before. However, the context at that time was to say that in the future, children (notably, probably my children) would not be allowed to have their myopia advance so drastically as mine did when I was a kid. They could put a 'sling' on the back of the eye to keep it from stretching. That's the buckle.
So, now I am a candidate myself. My vision will continue to deteriorate with or without the buckle(s). They would just give me the opportunity to slow it down drastically, and keep me on a higher road to maintain as much vision as possible, into my old age.
The side effects that I know of are:
1. pain and pressure in the eye (not sure for how long)
2. oozing and bleeding around the eye
3. bruising of the muscles around the eye, that will cause double vision for 1-3 months
- I'll need to do exercises to get the slow eye to move faster, and prevent scarring.
Apparently, my doctor is the specialist who proved through a study that this procedure is effective, and now he's one of the only (if not *the* only) one in the country who will perform the surgery. Here's one of his papers.
Not sure what I'll do yet, but thought I'd get that written down for the historical record, as I remember it.
Sunday, March 18
Did I just read Twilight?
I recently asked my Facebook friends for some book recommendations. Did anyone mention Twilight? No, no, they did not.
For the entire time that Twilight has been the post-Harry Potter buzz word, I have had no desire to read any Twilight Saga books, and also no desire to watch the movies. Edward, Jacob, Jacob, Edward - who cares?
Now, after the final movie is all done with (or at least I think it is - that's how little I pay attention), they've started playing a song on the radio that's apparently from the soundtrack: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. I don't even like her other song, Jar of Hearts. But for some reason, I love A Thousand Years. I bought the song on iTunes (which is when I noticed that it's from the Breaking Dawn soundtrack).
Innocently, I thought, "Well, maybe this is a romance that I'll like. Maybe I should watch the movies." Whaaat? The movies won't be as good as the books (if any good at all), so I'll read the books. I mean, read the first book.
So my friends recommend some awesome-sounding books, and I immediately get on Amazon and buy four books - 3 of which my friends recommended, and Twilight. No turning back now.
I got home from work/dinner with friends late last night, and the books had arrived. I pull them out of the box - how is Twilight such a long book? Oh, I see - both the print and the margins are HUGE, that's why. So I mindlessly started the book, just to test the waters. I go to bed, reading a little while longer, and fall asleep.
I wake up to find that I had read just under 70 pages last night. And then I mindlessly started reading again... and here I am, telling you that I'm finished. In a single day, 498 pages. I've heard of plenty of other people reading books that quickly, but I've never been one of them.
It was a perfect day for reading, though. A Saturday after a ridiculously long week, and it was rainy and cold outside. And Jesse really wanted to play a video game all day.
Twilight, though. Really? Huh.
For the entire time that Twilight has been the post-Harry Potter buzz word, I have had no desire to read any Twilight Saga books, and also no desire to watch the movies. Edward, Jacob, Jacob, Edward - who cares?
Now, after the final movie is all done with (or at least I think it is - that's how little I pay attention), they've started playing a song on the radio that's apparently from the soundtrack: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. I don't even like her other song, Jar of Hearts. But for some reason, I love A Thousand Years. I bought the song on iTunes (which is when I noticed that it's from the Breaking Dawn soundtrack).
Innocently, I thought, "Well, maybe this is a romance that I'll like. Maybe I should watch the movies." Whaaat? The movies won't be as good as the books (if any good at all), so I'll read the books. I mean, read the first book.
So my friends recommend some awesome-sounding books, and I immediately get on Amazon and buy four books - 3 of which my friends recommended, and Twilight. No turning back now.
I got home from work/dinner with friends late last night, and the books had arrived. I pull them out of the box - how is Twilight such a long book? Oh, I see - both the print and the margins are HUGE, that's why. So I mindlessly started the book, just to test the waters. I go to bed, reading a little while longer, and fall asleep.
I wake up to find that I had read just under 70 pages last night. And then I mindlessly started reading again... and here I am, telling you that I'm finished. In a single day, 498 pages. I've heard of plenty of other people reading books that quickly, but I've never been one of them.
It was a perfect day for reading, though. A Saturday after a ridiculously long week, and it was rainy and cold outside. And Jesse really wanted to play a video game all day.
Twilight, though. Really? Huh.
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