Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.
I wish I was kidding. Alas, this can be found in the Other Income section, right between the "Social Security and Equivalent Railroad Retirement Benefits" and "Transporting School Children" sections. Page 35.
So, I thought to myself, "Wow! This text was actually legislated." Because, really, of all the people in the country who pay taxes, how many of them are taking stock of the things they stole during the calendar year, so that they can accurately report that income to the Federal Government? Something tells me that honesty is not a priority for people who are already stealing. Moreover, those folks are probably not pouring over Tax Code (unlike Yours Truly) in their spare time.
OK, let's say you stole something. You then decide, in some alternate universe, that you're going to file an income tax return. Are you really, I mean...really, going to admit to Federal officials that you stole something? But then, really, why are Federal officials deeming stolen goods as legitimate "other income"? This was not good decision making. I'd like to see the revenue numbers for the years before and after this piece of Tax Code was published.
Sigh.
